Does your mom-logic go like this: “The kid does well, so make him feel good about himself?” Are you the resident cheer-person, the back-patter extraordinaire? If you are handing out compliments as if they’re sticks of gum whenever your child helps with the dishes or practises the piano, take it down a notch. It turns out there are better ways to build your child's self-esteem than heaping on praise for everything they do.
The goal should be to make them more competent in the world we live in; you have to learn to take a step back, let them make choices and take risks, solve their own problems and stick with what they start.
Self-esteem can be a bit intangible. We can’t really see it, hold on to it, or touch it in any way. Despite this we are often acutely aware when it is missing, especially in our children. Children who have a high self-esteem have a sense of belonging, believe that they are capable, and know that they’re contributions are valued and worthwhile. They also tend to be happier and do better academically.
8 Strategies to help boost your child’s self-esteem:
• Unconditional love. This builds a strong foundation for self confidence in children. Lavish him with cuddles and kisses. Make sure that he knows how much you love him no matter what. When correcting your child – make sure that he knows that it’s his behaviour, not him, which is unacceptable.
• Be a positive role model. Monkey see, monkey do - is their main strategy. Let your kids see that you are not afraid to express yourself, that you are optimistic about your abilities and limitations. Your child will emulate this confident behaviour.
• Encourage effort and acknowledge success. Let them help with household chores. They need opportunities to demonstrate their competence and feel that their contribution is valuable. Chores are a great way to teach kids responsibility. It gives parents a chance to say: “thanks” or “well done.”
• Give praise where praise is due. Kids, especially small children measure their self worth on what you think. Praise the effort, but don’t unrealistically praise the results. Reassure your child that it’s ok not to be able to do everything perfectly. Tell him that some things take repeated effort and sometimes it’s ok to move on after you’ve given your best effort.
• Teach resilience. No one succeeds at everything all the time. If your child does poorly in a test, don’t smother him with pity. Instead, talk about what steps can be taken to do better.
• Instil independence and adventure. Set up situations where your kids can do things for themselves, and then give them space. For example, show him how to make a sandwich and then let him do it on his own without intervening. Encourage trips with schoolmates to expand their horizons and build confidence.
• Encourage sports and physical activities. This way they can learn that they can practise, improve and achieve goals. They learn about their strengths and weaknesses, how to handle defeat, and the importance of teamwork.
• Set rules and be consistent. Rules give kids a sense of security and confidence. You are a parent – not a best friend. Someday when your child is feeling peer pressure, he will have the foundation and the confidence to say: “No, I can’t do that.”
Positive parenting is vital in building a child's self-esteem. Good self confidence is your child’s passport to a lifetime of mental health and social happiness. This is the foundation of a child’s wellbeing and the key to success as an adult.
Source: www.scholastic.com, kidshealth.org, www.askdrsears.com, www.babycenter.com, www.independent.ie, www.lifehack.org, www.workingmother.com, www.todaysparent.com
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.
