So, a friend - or a colleague- wants your help with a project. She has a deadline and needs a few hours of your time. Would you help?
Hmm … you immediately feel your shoulders clench. You could probably squeeze it into your already tight schedule if you gave up the kids’ Saturday football match as well as Sunday lunch. Truth is you simply don’t want to; BUT, you end up saying: wait for it … “yes”!
When was the last time you said “no” to someone you know? I bet you really have to think about this one! Saying “no” for most people, doesn’t come easy. Yes, this one little syllable is too often avoided, much to the detriment of yourself and your family.
Yeah, most of us have “The disease to please”! Humour aside, why is it so difficult to say “no”?
According to Susan Newman, PhD, social psychologist and author of The Book of No – 250 ways to say it; our inability to say “no” is not a personal flaw – saying “no” is a learned behaviour.
As young kids the word “no” is drummed out of us. Toddlers who say “no” are reprimanded or punished. But, it doesn’t stop there. As we continue to grow we are encouraged to be nurturing and caring, and that usually involves saying “yes.” Combine this with the social connotation of it being impolite to say “no” and voila! We avoid the word altogether!
But, what will happen if we dare to say “no”? Will you really limit your career prospects if you say “no” once in a while? Will your friends expel you from their group if you don’t say “yes” to every invite? Ever thought that maybe, just maybe, everyone might respect you and your time more if you said “no” more often?
Saying “no” can be empowering. It will allow you to set boundaries, establish your needs as worthy of respect, and help you to focus on the activities that bring you joy. Time is a precious commodity, more so than money – because while you can earn back money, you can never get back time! Don’t over clutter your calendar with commitments that constantly keep you away from the ones you love.
Think about it: when you say “yes” to something you don’t enjoy, you’re saying “no” to the things that you love!
So, come on, reward your new found assertiveness by booking that family breakaway weekend! Did you know that you could save up to 30% on Mango flights by joining Sanlam Reality? Say “yes” to the more important things in your life. Could you afford not to?
Source: www.psychologies.co.uk, www.idiva.com, www.psychologytoday.com, www.fastcompany.com, growingleaders.com, www.businessinsider.com, www.lifehacker.org, www.realsimple.com, www.forbes.com, www.newdirectionsconsulting.com, www.themuse.com
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.