Adolescence and autism. On their own, each can be a challenge; together they form a volatile mix. When you have a teenager severely impacted by autism as well as hormones, you need ways to relieve resulting stress.
When teenagers with autism go through puberty, they have the same hormonal activity taking place as neurotypical teens do. One common complaint among parents is that their teenager's autism is getting worse. That may be a misunderstanding: your teen is not getting more noncompliant because his autism is getting worse. It is because he is a teenager! However, autistic teenagers become even more non-communicative, moody and unpredictable – only they don’t have the same outlets as neurotypicals and so could retreat even more during this period.
What does teenage rebellion look like in someone who struggles with behavioural control? Many a teen boy has had to be convinced of the need for daily showers and shaving. How do you convince someone who has sensory problems to stand under water or drag a sharp razor across his face?
Adolescents on the autism spectrum have unique challenges that are often hard for parents, teachers and peers to understand. Without the right support, this can be a period of extreme confusion and loneliness, with an increased risk of depression and suicide. Like their peers, teenagers with autism want independence. They want to plan and dream about their future. Parents are often hesitant to let go. You worry constantly – your child needs more assistance than his peers. The teen years are filled with social activities: dances and parties. Your teen spends every Friday and Saturday night at home, and you worry. Should you be doing more… or less?
The following tips might help:
Allow for downtime after school. The school day is overwhelming and noisy for many teenagers with autism. Allow them to unwind and “reset” after a hectic day.
Follow your teen's lead in deciding how much social activity they need. Some teens with autism are very social and want to spend time with their friends, while others are quite content to be alone. Don’t push them into activities because you think they should go.
Find structured activities your teen enjoys that can double as social activities. Some form of social interaction is important for all teenagers, but especially for those who are autistic. Individual sports such as swimming can provide a social outlet. Classes or events surrounding your teens’ interests are good ways to socialise.
Let them choose their own clothes. Their choice may not reflect what everyone else is wearing but if they're comfortable, their life will be. If they're more comfortable in jeans and t-shirts, buy more jeans and t-shirts!
Provide choices and then accept their choice. They need to make choices about their lives and their future.
Find an adult mentor your teen can talk to. Teens with or without autism don’t always want to talk to their parents. Find a trusted adult your teen can talk to.
Continue to talk about appropriate ways to display frustration or anger. By the time they reach high school, teachers expect children to know how to handle frustration.
Be patient. Teenagers with autism may be more immature than their peers. Because of this, they may need more assistance and may not be ready to be as independent as others.
As parents, we often question ourselves. Were the decisions we have made the best possible ones that we could have made at the time? We know that all of our decisions we’ve made with regards to our children have been made with the best of intentions and love, and ultimately we want our children to succeed, in spite of autism. So remember that love - even if your teen has a hard time showing it back - is the best way to parent.
The information on Fedhealth Medical Aid is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.
Source: www.psychologytoday.com, www.iancommunity.org, www.webmd.com, www.healthcentral.co.za
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.
