Balancing Love and Independence

Balancing Love and Independence

25 March 2024

It’s easy – and totally human – to get caught up in the thrills of a relationship. Being in a romantic relationship is a blessing for sure, and it comes with several perks. After all, it’s great having your best bud (with benefits) around all of the time, right?

However, have you been able to maintain the “me” in your “we”? If it’s kind of blurry when you’ve last had drinks with friends, well, you may be in trouble.

Remember, you and your partner are amazing individuals with your own gifts, talents, and interests, some of which you may have in common, others you probably don’t. And that is totally okay! But, when you give up your friends, you’re stripping away at the things that attracted your partner to you in the first place. They fell for your interests, intelligence and lifestyle. They liked who you were at the time they met you.

Ever wondered why smash-hit 90s sitcoms such as “Friends” and “Sex and The City” made long-term friendships every bit as desirable as romance? That’s because they are. The “friend zone” has more meaning than you think.

Research shows that friendships are vital to living a long, happy, and healthy life. Studies consistently show how friendships benefit both mental and physical health. That being said, nurturing friendships outside your relationship could in fact make your relationship stronger. Strong, positive relationships offer emotional support and provide the perfect antidote to the intensity or mundanity of a long-term relationship.

Friends will keep the equilibrium in your life and increase your sense of belonging and purpose. They provide insight on how to handle certain situations and will give you access to different perspectives. Having a friend is having a safe place to vent without judgement. Friendships contribute to personal growth and brings positive energy to a relationship.

When you feel like your partner is all you have and depend on him/her for everything, your relationship could lead to codependency, which could put major strain on your relationship. The idea is to be two fully rounded human beings that love each other, not a two-headed creature that finishes each other’s sentences.

So, don’t beat yourself up over lulls in communication. Take time to reach out to the people who matter most to you. Send a text to ask how they’ve been, let them know that you miss their friendship and ask them if they want to get together before more time passes by. Chances are they’ve been meaning to do the same thing! You could also make new friends by joining a book club, workout class, or a parenting group.

Take the time to nurture your friendships outside your relationship. It’s a sweet responsibility.


DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.

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