You are stressed, panicked and filled with anxiety about the matric exams, and you’re not even writing them… your child is! Are you one of more than half a million moms in South Africa dreading prelims and shortly after that, finals? The exams you have been waiting over a decade for arrived too soon!
Are you and your matric exam ready for this challenging time? Seeing your child stressed and fearful is daunting, even for the strongest among us. Parents who want their matrics to succeed must strike the proper balance. You should be involved – but not too involved. You should set limits – but, allow freedom. You should encourage excellence – but not expect perfection. Yeah, trying times!
So, mom, accept that some days there will be “too much work to do” and that they are “paralysed “with stress whereas the next day it is ok to go and meet friends because they are “completely on top of their work and need a break”.
A lot of moms forget what a pivot role they play in helping their teen manage matric exams without a nasty dollop of panic and 3 am jitters.
Here’s how to do just that:
First of all, be patient and understanding. Provide your 12th grader with silence, private space and support while he studies. A messy, disorganised space may encourage panic. So mom, try to communicate to siblings that there are important exams afoot and a little silence around the house during certain times doesn’t hurt. Shield him from family drama, keeping his world stable so that he is not distracted.
Learn to step back. Be careful not to let your own ambitions take over. School is your child’s job, not yours! Stop worrying whether your child is doing well enough, this could make him feel like a failure. A child that might have been a really happy average student and would go to be perfectly successful in life might become an unhappy above-average student struggling to deal with depression and anxiety. Try not to add to his pressure by scrutinising every test and assignment result. Keep your eye on the bigger picture… the finals! Be encouraging every step of the way.
Provide healthy meals and have “brain food” snacks in the kitchen. Vitamin B6 and B12 supplements are a good idea. Discourage late nights; enough sleep is crucial during this time.
Encourage positive thinking, the right efforts will bring about the right results. Remember that walking the dog or the odd game of table tennis will help to release those endorphins which combat feelings of depression and anxiety.
Emphasize perseverance. It is not the end of the word if an exam did not go well. One bad mark does not determine who you are or who you’re going to be. Wise words, right? People who ultimately succeed in life have the ability to pick themselves up, create a new path and continue with determination. Make sure that you tend to his basic needs, while not neglecting the emotional ones.
The greatest gift that you can give your matric this exam is your unconditional love and support, the silent partner in the company of Exams Pty (Ltd).
Source: www.stbenedicts.co.za, www.smartscape.org.za, www.mumsnet.com, www.inspiredparenting.co.za
