Are you a cheater?
No, we’re not referring to the lipstick-stained collar kind – there’s another kind of deception which can be just as devastating as the sexual kind; it’s called financial infidelity.
A 2017 survey shows that nearly 60% of millennials are victims of financial infidelity – with romantic partners hiding debt and lying about money. In fact, new research indicates that only 52% of individuals believe that their significant other is totally honest with them when it comes to money.
For people in a monogamous relationship cheating sexually is often considered the ultimate betrayal, but research shows that financial infidelity could cause deeper scars than any hook-up.
When you settle into a relationship you try to share as much as possible, right? Sweaters, books, a home – it’s all open game. But what about finances? True, it makes perfect sense to pool a percentage of your assets if you’re living together for food, rent or bond, or bills. So yes, having a joint bank account could eliminate so much hassle. You don’t have to keep tabs on what each person has to pay; it’s just there, ready to pay the bills. Or is it?
Thing is, the modern age has made it a lot easier to keep secrets from someone with whom you share a bed. Credit card bills and bank statements can be accessed online; it’s possible to have a financial life that’s virtually unseen by your significant other.
But, and here’s the kicker, you work hard, as does your partner; you expect to share the resources in some way that benefits you both. And, when you discover that your partner’s been making financial moves that undermine that hard work, it can be a bitter pill to swallow.
Whether big (you’re hiding a five figure credit card debt) or small (you told him you got those heels on sale when you paid full price), financial fibs add up to bad news for your relationship. Why? It’s never just about the money. It’s about power, autonomy, fear, future dreams, personal values and most of all, trust.
So, what are couples to do? We have a few ideas on how to conquer this relationship wrecker:
Be transparent about money from the get-go. Maybe three separate accounts; his, hers, and ours: this means you don’t have to tiptoe around each other if you want to buy something you really want.
If you are the cheater, come clean. Reveal every credit card or any other financial pieces of information you may have hidden in the past.
Set rules. Over certain amounts from the joint account can’t be spent without consultation.
Create a debt payment plan, do this as a team.
Schedule weekly/monthly meetings to get your financial situation and your relationship back on track. Talk about your budget, bills, and goals.
When you decide to start over, truly start over. No more secrets or lies.
Ultimately every situation is different, but it’s pretty important that you’re on the same page as your partner when it comes to money.
Be the couple that’s totally honest and take the steps to avoid financial infidelity.
Source: metro.co.uk, themoneycouple.com, www.forbes.com, www.creditcards.com, themoneycouple.com, www.huffingtonpost.com, bluewatercredit.com, www.sowetanlive.co.za, www.thebalance.com, www.cnbc.com, www.dailypioneer.com, www.verywellmind.com, www.ouds.co.za, time.com, www.femaleadda.com, www.pressreader.com
