Suddenly Single

Suddenly Single

21 February 2019

Going through a messy break-up or divorce?

Is your initial reaction to being “suddenly single” a combination of pity and sadness? The relationship you’ve just lost was probably a key part of your identity and when your life is no longer being discussed in “we” or “us” terms, it can be tough. A humiliating rejection or an unexpected tragedy can truly transform the dynamics of your life, or more specifically how you lived your life. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Hear us out.

We live in a society where we are pressured to talk about relationships and actively pursue them, however, according to sociologists, being single is badass and is becoming a more commonly adopted lifestyle choice. Why? Well, truth is, being single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others for their happiness.

One of the greatest fears of being single is that loneliness will creep up on you like a hungry beast ready to consume you. Fact is that loneliness has very little to do with being alone. All of us have experienced loneliness in a crowded room or felt empty in a relationship. But the reverse is also true – you can feel blissful in moments of solitude. So yes, being happily single is really not so different than being happy under any other circumstances.

Don’t get us wrong, of course good relationships bring stability, happiness and good health (not to mention a significant other to help with zips and applying sunscreen!), but being caught up in the past is toxic to your growth and interferes with your ability to move forward.

So, accept that pain is an inevitable and unavoidable part of life. Let go of past mistakes, failures and regrets, and revel in the idea that every day is your own. It’s an intensely luxurious thing to wake up each morning and realise that the day is yours to shape in whatever way you like. Sure you may have an office job that doesn’t allow you to exercise absolute free will, but what happens outside of that is all you. Build your tribe and beef up your social calendar. Make plans – take a weekly art class, attend a community event, or do yoga. Get physical and reconnect with your body. Get yourself in shape while those endorphins keep your spirits flying high. Stretch yourself to do something different each week. Travel, explore and discover. Find happiness and contentment in what already exists in your life and learn continuously.

Being single provides you with the opportunity to tap into the person that you are, and from there you can make the decisions that will mold you into the person that you want to be.

A wise man once said: “To see a rainbow one has to pass a storm.”

Remember, you are the author of this new chapter in your life, it’s all you, you have the power to write it any which way you choose.


DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.

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