This is how the fairy-tale goes, right? Grow up, get married, and have babies. Yet, unfortunately, it’s not that simple for everyone.

Surrogacy is often the chosen path for people who can’t conceive, carry, or deliver a baby due to a variety of medical reasons, age-related fertility issues, or personal choices. It also enables individuals and same-sex couples to have children genetically related to them.

This remarkable, compassionate, and powerful choice could lead up to an amazing goal: bringing home a healthy baby. But here’s the thing, they say it takes a village to raise a child, but with surrogacy it can take a village simply to conceive one! Medical specialists, lawyers, fertility experts, mental health professionals, and support groups … truth is, it’s one of the most complex – but totally amazing – journey’s you’ll ever be a part of.

Here’s what you need to know:

The journey of surrogacy can be filled with a range of emotions for both the intended parents as well as for the surrogate. It’s so much more than a nine-month waiting game.

One of the biggest challenges that parents to-be face during the surrogacy journey is managing the psychological impact. There are so many emotions at play. It’s an emotional roller coaster fraught with heightened feelings ranging from excitement and anticipation, to fear and anxiety.

For the intended parents the expectations and the reality may not always walk hand in hand. You may struggle with grief and loss related to a miscarriage or IVF difficulties, causing uncertainty and anxiety. There may be worries about the health of the surrogate, the outcome of the pregnancy, and then, of course, there are the legal aspects … but remember prospective parents, while the surrogacy journey may be filled with emotional challenges, it also brings significant rewards. The most profound of these being the joy of parenthood.

Surrogates on the other hand, might oscillate between the joy of helping others to become a family, to developing an emotional bond with the baby they’re carrying. This is a high-risk emotional experience, and most surrogates are likely to suffer from postpartum depression. Feelings of guilt and anger both before and after a surrogate gives up a baby to commissioning parents are common. Bringing another human being into the world for someone else is a huge responsibility which involves tackling a rollercoaster of emotions.

So, before embarking on this incredible journey, be prepared. Read, research, and ask questions. Meet with a reputable, well-established fertility and surrogacy agency to talk about the screening processes. They will shortlist candidates and are often in the best position to match suitable surrogate mothers with couples.

Couples can also approach an attorney specializing in surrogacy to avoid mistakes and unnecessary costs in the future. Remember, the law states that the agreement between the commissioning parents and the surrogate must be confirmed before fertilization can take place.

Cultivating a supportive network of family and friends, for both the intended parents as well as for the surrogate, is crucial.

Be open to professional support from an experienced therapist to provide strategies to manage stress and anxiety, while offering a safe space to explore feelings and fears.

Good luck on this life-changing journey!

Source: theinternationalpsychologyclinic.com, nytimes.com, insights.medicaltourism.com, surrogate.com, raisingedmonton.com, happyminds.net.au, gostork.com, sarahjefford.com, tammuz.com, surrogacylaw.co.za, surrogacyagreements.co.za