Long gone are the days when people see someone dining alone, or sitting in a coffee shop solo and assume they are lonely. Yet, there’s a rom-com still to be documented and it goes like this: There’s a single girl with many best friends – men and women, and the occasional lover, and she goes through life with no regrets and no cats. Happy mostly. Just like everyone else …
We live in a society where we are pressured to actively pursue relationships. But what’s interesting is that being single is becoming a more adopted lifestyle choice, that’s according to sociologists. Why? Well, truth is, the choice to be single – and to have fun on your own – symbolizes strength, independence and empowerment. Purposeful time alone is valuable regardless of your relationship status.
So, whether you’re taking a break from the dating scene, recovering from a breakup, or trying to find new ways of connecting with yourself outside of dates with your partner, flying solo on dates are an important self-care tool. To realize your ability to soothe, comfort and enjoy your time outside of being connected to another person is truly empowering.
The people who we spend the most time with play a large role in shaping our personalities, mannerisms, quirks, likes and dislikes. And it’s not a bad thing to be shaped by those around us, but often we may find ourselves “enjoying” an activity just because we want to fit in. In order to gauge our passions, interests and who we really are, we need to spend intimate quality time with ourselves.
And yes, first dates are uncomfortable, and chances are your first solo date will be too. So, be intentional, put it on your calendar and make a commitment to show up for yourself. You wouldn’t ghost a dinner date, so don’t ghost yourself!
Also, make it special, dress up and do whatever you need to do to feel good. Explore activities you truly enjoy, unrestricted by other people’s interests. Go to a movie, get the popcorn and the drink! Book a facial, or tap into your inner Gordon Ramsey and cook a fancy meal for yourself. Light a candle and listen to smooth jazz tunes. Or, grab a latte at your favorite coffee shop, pick a seat by the window, and dig into that book you’ve been meaning to read. And, be sure to hit the farmer’s market on a weekend for fresh veggies and a bunch of your favorite blooms.
Ever wanted to learn pasta making? Sign up! Try yoga, rock climbing, or pole dancing. You never know what you might fall in love with. There are so many solo-friendly travel destinations, step out of your comfort zone to remember who you’ve been all along. #AllAboutYou.
“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you also have an obligation to be one” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Source: dailycal.org, miwaylife.co.za, madewithlemons.co, instyle.com, scarymommy.com, unfoundation.org
