Tips for New Couples

Tips for New Couples

5 February 2019

So, you’ve met someone you’re really interested in and the feeling is mutual. New year, new love, right? Congrats!

There’s nothing more exciting than a new relationship… someone out there thinks you’re funny! And cute! And smart! They want to know all about your day and respond to your texts at once… it doesn’t get any better than that!

The feeling of new love is one of the most incredible feelings we’re gifted with on this earth; it should be nurtured and enjoyed. However, although the just-started-dating, endorphin fuelled phase is a special time to create unforgettable memories, you may be terrified of making mistakes that will end things before they even started.

We have a few golden rules shared by relationship experts on how to navigate those first fragile months:

Be cool. There’s no rush. Don’t always be the person texting first, calling first, or initiating plans.

Meet often, but not too often. If the relationship is real, it’s not going anywhere. Go on dates once or twice a week. The logic? When we spend a lot of concentrated time with someone we’ve just met, we develop a false sense of intimacy and connectedness – which often leads to feeling deeply invested in a person before you even know them.

Mix it up. Make varied plans. Go for morning walks, lunch dates, and dinners with friends and colleagues. It can be illuminating to see your partner navigate different situations. Maybe they’re always nice to you but turn competitive around friends – good to know, right?

Keep living your life. Continue to spend time with friends and family, exercise, work hard, make time for hobbies and passions, and value your alone time. If all of this is cast aside or neglected, not only will that say something about your loyalty, but it will place too much pressure on your partner to be your everything.

Don’t talk about the future until it’s time to talk about the future.

Emotional intimacy should lead to physical intimacy, not the other way around. Don’t have sex until both partners are 100% ready. During sexual intimacy, our bodies release chemicals – including the so-called “love hormone” oxytocin – that promote strong emotional reactions and bonding which cloud our judgement. If the person is kind and good and wants the same things as you, there’s no problem. But if the person doesn’t have the same relationship goals as you, you may end up feeling lonely and betrayed.

Be yourself but be positive. See the good in life and in people and let that radiate through you. Being positive is a vibe, an energy. Our vibe attracts people or drives them away.

Treat yourself well. Take time for self-care, it will set an example of how your partner should treat you.

We tend to get so lost in the over-thinking part of it all that we forget that falling for someone and developing a relationship is FUN. The dopey grin, the butterflies… it’s a special time between the two of you that will be something you will always remember whether it ends up working out or not.

Long-term relationships are work, but dating shouldn’t feel like it.

So, be happy in your “couple bubble” – as corny as that sounds!


DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.

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