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Grow from Heartache

PostedNovember 9, 2017

Have you dealt with these words lately: “It’s not you, it’s me”, or “I think we should just be friends”? One thing is certain … breakups suck!

In fact, the experience of a heartbreak can be so intense that some scientists suggest it feels the same as physical pain. Studies show that people experience similar brain activity when they view a photo of a former love compared to the sensation of extreme heat on their arm in case of a burn! Powerful stuff, don’t you think?

Heartbreak is one of the most devastating yet fundamental and uniquely human experiences. It is almost like a tsunami moving through your otherwise calm life. Your heart is ripped out of your chest and filling the void formerly known as love is denial, anger, and sadness. Yes, tears. Yes, sorrow. Yes, seclusion and yes, not wanting to get out of bed!

But, what if this pain and heartache – when managed correctly – could give you the opportunity to grow and make you stronger? Many of us go through a state of absolute turmoil when going through a breakup, not only because we have lost a loved one, but because we have neglected our own deeper sense of being.

Thing is, we all make compromises to be in a relationship, right? And sometimes, somehow, those compromises prevent us from being our best selves. A breakup gives you the chance to look at yourself differently. It could be the catalyst that breaks you open, the rock bottom on which to build the rest of your beautiful life; the human equivalent of metamorphosis, if you will.

We have a few tips on how to smile again after a breakup (none of which involve ice cream or Pinot Grigio!)

Wrap it up. Let go of resentment and grudges. Yes, you shared a lot and yes, it was supposed to last forever … But imagine this relationship as a film you’ve already seen; don’t allow it to replay repeatedly.

Take care of yourself. Treat yourself as well as you’ll treat someone you care a great deal for. Eat better, meditate and read books on healing and growth. Self soothe by buying yourself flowers or taking regular bubble baths – whatever works for you!

Take it easy. Experiencing waves of exhaustion is normal. Talk to your doctor if you have trouble sleeping and although exercise is important, don’t push yourself – long walks are just as good.

Share your pain. Lean on friends and family; spend time with people you care about. Facebook probably won’t be your friend post-breakup. Shared connections and constant updates can make it hard to heal.

Reclaim some of your single habits. Pursue hobbies and schedule activities that make you feel good.

Practise small acts of courage in opening your heart. It can be hard to open yourself up after a breakup, but it can be done gradually over time. Say “hello” to the next person who greets you. Return a smile. Say “yes” to coffee. Say “yes” to someone who wants to introduce you to someone who they think is a great match for you.

So, take a moment and marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that made you wiser, and at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite all of this, you are growing, be proud of that.


DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.