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Is the new year another chance for an old flame?

PostedJanuary 9, 2017

You finally did it! You made a clean break … or at least that’s what you thought. Turns out your former flame wants a do-over in the love department.
You’re still feeling really bruised about the breakup and your mind is going into overdrive. Truth is when you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or disappointed by someone you care about, it’s hard to imagine giving that person another chance. But, did you give up on the relationship too soon? Should you give it another go?

Thoughts of the two of you keep crawling out of the woodwork. He/she is still your screensaver and you’re as much on their Facebook page as you are on your own, constantly monitoring … especially the relationship status!
When you’ve been spending weeks or months agonising over whether to take someone back, isn’t it worth it to take a leap of faith rather than dwindling in indecision? Yes, it means that you could very well get burnt by going ahead, BUT what if you don’t? Do you want to continue living the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” saga?

You know what they say: “It’s not over till it’s OVER.” Realistically, it is possible for a couple to break up and then make up, leading to a more intimate connection. Sadly though, sometimes it’s not meant to work out – ever. But regardless of how the story is meant to end, isn’t it worth knowing for sure whether the two of you could ultimately be happy? Do Ross and Rachel ring a bell?
According to new research, it’s not only possible to have a serious future with an old flame – it’s surprisingly common. More than a third of cohabitating couples and a fourth of now-married couples have actually broken up at some point in the past, per a recent Kansas State University study.

So, what is the key to making it work the next time around? First of all, there should be an awareness of how much this person means to you. This is crucial because it will motivate you to work harder this time around and be more willing to compromise and respond to each other’s needs. Also, fix what wasn’t working before. If the original problem isn’t attended to, the new relationship will fall apart. It can be timing, emotional maturity, distance, or individual failure such as cheating, which has to be dealt with. Communication and honesty is so important. Conduct a post-mortem of your previous relationship. Understand why it didn’t work and how things could be different this time. This goes both ways. Let go of past wrongdoings and accept them as part of the story. This doesn’t mean that you should forgive every hurt or transgression, but you need to accept that it happened and be able to live with it. Continue to date. Relationships don’t sustain themselves; you must continue to keep your romance fresh in order to make it work. Snuggle while you read a book, cook a meal together or watch the sunset at the end of the day.

No matter what your circumstance, love and kindness are the ultimate goals – You deserve a partner who makes this easy for you. Here’s to the New Year and another chance to get it right!


DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.