Losing your mom at any age is crippling, it’s a loss like no other. As a young adult you’re going through what 99% of people haven’t gone through and shouldn’t have to go through. It is unfair and you’re struggling…
You’re trying to hold it together… until a memory strikes you. And it happens so fast, right? It could be a song, a picture, a moment; and it leaves you dead in your tracks and breathless. Know that most of your friends won’t understand the loss of a parent unless it has happened to them. They might expect you to be okay within a week or two; remind them how hard this is for you. Unfortunately, many can’t handle this kind of tragedy and will walk away from you. Also, social media will accentuate life’s casual cruelties; the posts this past Mother’s Day were real tough to read, not so?
Losing your mom way earlier than you should changes everything. It means she won’t be there to wrap her arms around you when you get your heart broken and she won’t be the first one to call when you land your dream job. Truth is, you’ll find yourself at 17, or 24, or 35, or 43; unwrapping a present, or walking down an aisle, or crossing a busy street missing your mother, because you’ve lost her. It’s a “club” that no one wants to join.
We all grieve differently; grief shows up in anger, sorrow, guilt, fear, and sometimes peace. It’s unpredictable and, at times, exhausting. It’s a loss that leaves you doubting life, doubting the things that you could have – should have done. “I should have helped more” or said “I love you” more. These are cruel thoughts and it can swallow you if you let it. Don’t let it.
But, when will it get easier? Will it ever happen? Because you’ve heard that it does get easier. You’ve heard that the deep heartbreak will turn into a dull ache. When will the memories make you smile instead of weep? And, how do you get there?
Thing is, there’s no time limit to grief. And of course, there’s birthdays, the first Christmas without her… It’s okay not to be okay. Allow yourself to have bad days, you can cry on those days. You can cry today, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. Allow yourself to feel what you feel; the pain is proof of the bond that the two of you had.
Celebrate her life by knowing that she’d want you to truly live yours. Continue to make her proud. Hold onto her memory and keep her strength and vulnerability close to your heart. Talk to her and talk to other people about her. Be grateful for the years you had with her and be the best person you can be, it’s what your Momma would have wanted. Choose to stay motivated for the life you have and continue to surround yourself with those who love you; your happiness depends on it.
We are so sorry for your loss and we hope that you will find your peace.
So far you have survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great!
Source: thoughtcatalog.com, theodysseyonline.com, puckermob.com, www.quora.com, www.scarymommy.com, www.huffingtonpost.com, www.parents.com, thestir.cafemom.com, couplescoordinates.com, wehavekids.com, www.mother.ly, psychcentral.com, www.upworthy.com, inspiration.allwomanstalk.com
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.