Being pregnant for the second time is definitely different. Although you and your partner are excited at the thought of a growing family as well as giving your firstborn a side-kick; this could also be a time of anxiety for new moms worrying about coping with more than one child. Chances are that the new baby bulletin will leave the big-sibling-to-be confused and unsure of his or her position in the new family, which could result in some significant sibling rivalry.

Once you discover you’re expecting, you have months and months to prepare your child for the arrival of a new sibling, in order to make the transition a smoother journey for everyone.

When should you spill the beans?

Not surprisingly, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question.  Young children have a very abstract idea of time so if you tell them really early, they won’t get it. Toddlers are amazingly astute and your ballooning body will catch their eye at some point, which will probably be a good moment to tell them.  Definitely tell them before telling other people though. Try to pair your due date with a recognisable milestone. For example: “The baby will be born around Christmas or close to your birthday”.

What to say?

Keep the news of your second pregnancy short and sweet and let your child’s questions be your guide. For example, a 4-year old may ask: “Where do babies come from?” Despite how it sounds, she isn’t asking you to explain the birds and the bees, but probably wants to know where, literally, they come from. It may be enough to explain: “The baby comes from the uterus which is inside the mommy’s belly”. A child who wants to know more will ask.

Top tips on how to manage those early days:

• Help your older child to make their own “sister/brother on the way” announcement, to make them feel part of the transition from the beginning.
• Take them with on prenatal visits for your second pregnancy. Some kids may be fascinated by the chance to see their baby sibling on the ultrasound or listen to its heartbeat, while others may be terrified or confused. If it is too scary, arrange childcare for future arrangements.
• Make the most of the one-on-one relationship you have at the moment, but make sure that they’ll be happy with the people who will look after them around the time the baby is born. Give them time with grandparents or friends who'll be lined up to help.
• To help your child relate to their new baby sibling, dig out their baby books. Look at photos and tell stories about when they were a baby.
• If your big-sibling-to-be hasn’t had much experience around babies, consider introducing them to a friend’s baby – so that they have a sense of what to expect.
• The first meeting at the hospital is crucial. Try to make sure that the baby is in the cot when your toddler makes his or her entrance – so your arms are still there to cuddle them.
• When you come home from hospital, let daddy carry the baby so that your arms are open for your older child. Take a lot of photos of them together.
• Have your older child and the baby exchange gifts. Your older child may want to pick out a special gift for the baby.
• Let your older child touch the baby as you emphasize “gently”.
• Encourage your older child to have a doll or a stuffed animal to “take care of”.
• When visitors bring a gift for the baby, give the older sibling a small, previously purchased gift.
• Focus on what won’t change. Make time for those predictable routines that make your child feel secure.
• Don’t push progress on milestones. If they haven't totally accomplished potty training yet, delay the transition until they've settled into their new role as big sibling.
• Talk, talk to your little ones throughout each and every day. Your hands may be busy, but you can maintain that all important connection through communication.

There are plenty of ways to help your older child connect with their little sibling and get used to the soon-to-be shifting family dynamics so that you can help ease sibling rivalry. However, parenting will be tested as nothing will completely eliminate the possibility of some jealousy, acting out or regression when a new baby arrives. This is a huge transition and will take time for everyone in the family.

Don't forget to register your second pregnancy with the Fedhealth Baby Programme to receive your Fedhealth baby bag filled with amazing goodies!

Source: www.babycentre.co.uk, kidshealth.org, www.parenting.com, www.whattoexpect.com, www.storknet.com, www.littleheartsbooks.com, www.webmd.com

DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.