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Refresh Your Relationship

PostedSeptember 12, 2016

relationships, wellbeing

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” or what about:  “I should call you Google; you’re everything I’m looking for!” Ha – okay, a bit corny, but when was the last time you dropped a pick-up line? Come on, do it!

One of the most exciting things about a new relationship is that initial spark, right? You can barely keep your hands off each other! Remember those butterflies when you’re eyes first met? But, as time goes by, sometimes those intense, sexual feelings go from strong flames to dying embers!

According to Dr. Laura Berman, relationship therapist and sex educator on the Oprah Winfrey Network, there is no such thing as a “sexparation” date.  We never stop needing intimacy or potential sexual connection as we age any more than we stop needing oxygen, food and water. As for that myth that sex and intimacy become less important as we get older – that’s why they call it a myth! Translation: It doesn’t mean your relationship is over when the honeymoon is over.

Truth is relationships in every age group have their own challenges and these challenges will intensify over time.  In their thirties couples have added stress and responsibilities of homes, careers and kids. All of this could very easily lead a couple to neglect their sexuality and forget that they’re lovers first and parents second. The forties are known for the “mid-life-crisis’” as couples often seek to regain their youth and prove to themselves that they’ve “still got it”. And for the fifties, well this is the time when you know yourself and what brings you pleasure, but sadly, this is often the time to let it slide.

Sure, your relationship will change over time and one of the most significant challenges of a long-term relationship has got to be keeping the fires burning. So, what if there was a way to embrace this new phase in your relationship?

Here are a few tips to keep the fire alive:

  • Make time for each other. Set aside 1 hour every night after everyone is in bed to sit with your partner and just relax. Cuddle while watching your favourite TV show. You’ll look forward to your time alone every evening!
  • Be adventurous together. Try something new to keep the spark alive. Travel to a new destination or explore a new hobby; something that you can look forward to together.
  • Have SEX. Intimacy will keep you and your partner emotionally attached. Spice things up by trying something new. Communicate what may be exciting for both of you. Maybe explore other sources of pleasure!
  • Be attractive. Maintain your good looks by staying fit and healthy. Continue to “woo” your honey! Why should that change with time?
  • Have fun together. Goof around, playfully tease one another and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Be spontaneous. Steer away from the norm. Have a picnic or get a babysitter and do something fun. Have regular date-nights.
  • Surprise! Leave a note on the fridge to tell him how much you love him, or send her flowers to work.
  • Hold hands. Small gestures; whether it’s holding hands or touching his arm while he talks demonstrate love and care. So, kiss, touch and repeat!
  • Say “I love you.” Vocalize your love. Send a text or leave a note; but never forget to say it!

Remember, the need for romance and communication remain the same no matter how long you’re hitched. A happy relationship = a happy life!




DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.