Have you dealt with these words lately: “It’s not you, it’s me”, or “I think we should just be friends”? One thing is certain … breakups suck! It’s like a punch to the gut.
In fact, if your breakup legitimately feels insurmountable, like on a physical level, you’re not wrong. There are very real, very physical effects of heartbreak - research shows that simply looking at a photo of your ex who recently dumped you is enough to activate areas of the brain associated with actual pain. Studies show that “Broken Heart Syndrome” is a very real physiological phenomenon that feels a lot like a heart attack.
Heartbreak is one of the most devastating yet fundamental and uniquely human experiences. It is almost like a tsunami moving through your otherwise calm life. Your heart is ripped out of your chest and filling the void formerly known as love, is denial, anger, and sadness.
Fortunately, there is good news: Although it’s hard to imagine, you can and will get over this. What if this pain and heartache – when managed correctly – could give you the opportunity to grow and make you stronger? We all make compromises to be in a relationship, right? And, sometimes those compromises prevent us from being our best selves.
We have a few tips on how to move forward after a breakup (none of which involve ice cream or Pinot Grigio!):
- Stop trying to maintain a friendship. At least not in the very beginning after your breakup - especially if you’re secretly hoping to re-establish a romantic relationship.
- Unfollow your ex. Studies found that people who Facebook stalk their exes are more distressed and feel a greater sense of longing than those who cut all media ties.
- Be the better person. Along with anger comes the desire for revenge. Stay calm, collected and classy. Keep your cool.
- Eliminate triggers. Regular reminders of your ex can deepen your wounds. That means getting rid of furniture, jewellery, clothing or photos that remind you of your former flame.
- Take care of yourself. Start doing more of the things you love. Eat better, meditate, and read books on healing and growth. Self soothe by buying yourself flowers or taking regular bubble baths – whatever works for you!
- Build your tribe. Lean on people that care about you while you take time to grieve your relationship.
- Make plans. Take a weekly art class or do yoga.
- Practise small acts of courage in opening your heart. It can be hard to open yourself up after a breakup, but it can be done gradually over time. Don’t make this breakup part of your future. Say “yes” to coffee. Say “yes” to someone who wants to introduce you to someone who they think is a great match for you.
Take a moment and remind yourself of your amazing traits and qualities which undoubtedly have been overlooked.
You are beautiful, smart, kind and funny. Never lose yourself while trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about losing you.
Source: huffingtonpost.com, www.elitedaily.com, www.google.co.za, possibilitychange.com, www.soulandspiritmagazine.com, tinybuddha.com, psychcentral.com, www.womanshealthmag.com, greatest.com, www.pride.com, mindbodygreen.com, lovesagame.com, thoughtcatalog.com
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.
