Okay, say what now? So, you didn’t realise that when you married Prince Charming that you were going to inherit the mother-in-law from hell?
Sure, we’ve heard that there are some good ones out there – warm, loving and always willing to lend a hand – and if you’ve hit the mother-in-law jackpot, lucky you. But, for us gals who are not as lucky… welcome to the “sisterhood of the mothers-in-law from hell!”
Seriously, is there an unwritten rule amongst them that when their sons get hitched, they no longer have to have any kind of filter? Must be, because they seem to feel completely free to say whatever they want!
All jokes aside, the relationship between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law can be a complicated one. A study quoted by The Guardian shows that over 60% of women are stressed and unhappy because of their relationship with their partner’s mother. After all, they are the two most important women in a man’s life and both have his best interest at heart.
Of course, as with all relationships, a bit of mending is sometimes necessary in order to live a peaceful and happy life.
So, if you’re up for it, here’s the plan: When she goes low, you go high. Don’t say things you’ll regret later. Hold your head high and know that whatever happens, you can feel good about your actions. Always assume good intentions but set firm boundaries. Decide what you’re willing to put up with, and what you’re not, and then stick with it. See the bigger picture. You have a wonderful husband who loves you. Be kind, even if the two of you don’t get along. Ignore pettiness and don’t take it personally, try your best never to fuel the fire. Keep your focus on the positives, if there are any. Give her a compliment. Kind words can do miracles, it might not work the first time, but there’s no way she will remain indifferent. Trust her with the kids. She’d love that (not to mention that you could get some time off!). Ask her advice – you don’t have to listen to all of it. Unite and conquer. Have your spouse speak to your mother-in-law about respecting and understanding boundaries, but tread carefully; never make him choose between you or her. Be okay with not having in-law approval. You don’t need anyone’s approval to live your life the way you want to. Some wars you just can’t win! Breathe, and keep breathing…
Remember, you deserve a positive and supportive presence from family, friends and relatives. However, don’t push too hard for things that aren’t meant to be.
Oh, and ladies, if your hubby still, after all of this, doesn’t put you first; remind him of the one thing you can do for him that mommy can’t! Good luck!
Source: chica.co.za, ladysmithgazette.co.za, mumcentral.com.au, www.huffingtonpost.co.za, she said.com, www.wisdomtimes.com, www.psychologytoday.com, www.bellanaija.com, www.jacarandafm.com, www.bustle.com, family.lovetoknow.com, www.worldofmoms.com
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