Charles Darwin. Christina Aguilera. Bill Gates. J.K Rowling. Any idea what all these famous people have in common? No, it’s not their large bank balances. All of these well known personalities are, like a third of the world’s population, introverts.
For a long time, introverts had a somewhat negative reputation. They were thought of as loners, socially awkward or not that fun to be around. However, the truth is simply that introverts get their energy from solitude, while extroverts recharge in social situations. It has nothing to do with being a loner or not having friends and it certainly doesn’t mean that introverts shy away from the spotlight either. In fact, many actors and famous performers are introverts too.
The problem is that the world, especially in the last century, hasn’t exactly been set up as an “introvert friendly” place. Think of open plan offices at work, where you’re expected to have conversations in earshot of everyone, do your work in a cloud of noise and just generally “get on with it” in an extroverted, sociable way. This way of working doesn’t suit everyone, and it’s been proven to be counterproductive for many people.
The same applies in our schools. We make children sit in groups of four at their desks and collaborate on every project. If a child is quiet or prefers to work alone, we label them as “shy” and sometimes even “problem children”, because they aren’t upholding to our norm of the extroverted ideal. This needs to change if we want to get the best out of everyone, including introverts.
So how do you tell if you’re an introvert? Perhaps you prefer one-on-one conversations to group discussions. Or you find it easier to express yourself in writing rather than talking about it. Maybe small talk is your worst thing, but you can talk at length about subjects that are really important to you. There are a number of excellent quizzes you can do to see where you lie on the extrovert/introvert scale, or whether you are an ambivert (somewhere in between).
Right, so you’ve identified what you are, but now you’re not sure how best to deal with the introverts in your life. Try these tips on interacting with introverts:
- Married to an introvert? They may be following you around all weekend from one social occasion to the next and be completely exhausted by the whole thing. While you may love seeing friends and family, try swapping an evening out with pizza and movies on the couch instead. They’ll really appreciate some time alone with you and it will help recharge them for the next social occasion.
- Don’t be scared of silence. Switch off the TV, turn down the radio and understand that silence is not an insult for introverts; it’s their happy space. You may like the house filled with noise and the TV blaring the whole time but they find this upsetting, so try and find a balance.
- Give them space. As much as you love the introvert in your life, they need space to recharge. Give them 10 minutes in the bath on their own or a break when they get home from work before you start discussing your day. They need it.
- Avoid small talk. Introverts generally don’t want to talk about the weather - they find it painful and a waste of everyone’s time. Sure, they don’t want to open a conversation by diving straight into politics or religion, but they want to know that there’s more to you than superficial conversation. If you don’t do this when interacting with introverts, they may lose interest or react negatively.
- Ask insightful questions. An introvert isn’t exactly going to blab away about his or her fears or concerns unless you ask them. And when they talk, make sure you listen properly and respond thoughtfully, because they’ll be able to tell if you’re distracted!
Hopefully this has helped you understand introverts and how they’re different to extroverts, which boils down simply to how each type recharges their brains. Both types have so much to offer the world, so a better appreciation of introverts can help us develop stronger relationships, be more productive and contribute to our overall happiness.
The information on Fedhealth Medical Aid is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.
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DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.
