Are silent treatments, slammed doors or letting things “stew” part of your everyday life? Why is conversation so difficult at times?
Say what you mean: It sounds so simple, right?! But, all too often what we try to communicate gets lost in translation despite our best intentions. Technology has thrust us directly into an age of … well, expression! This is wonderful! But, in the digital world, true communication, beautiful communication, has unfortunately been stripped down into spare parts that we haphazardly toss around.
Research indicates that great communicators are better liked and more successful at work, as well as in their personal lives. Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict.
If you’re a good communicator, you’re likely to have strong, positive relationships; whereas if you’re a poor communicator, you may feel isolated, misunderstood and have trouble forming connections with the people around you.
Effective communication is a two-way street. It is not only how you convey the message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended. It is also how you listen to gain the full meaning of what is being said to make the other person feel heard and understood.
Truth is, some of us are blunter, others are more passive in our communication – and that’s all fine. However, how we talk in addition to what we say can change the outcome of our conversations.
According to psychotherapists communication is a skill that ultimately takes a lot of practice.
So, get ready to master the art of conversation with these proven strategies:
- Eyes on me. Put away the distraction. Sending a text or email whilst conversing isn’t respectful.
- Don’t play email roulette. If you need to exchange ideas, the subject is complicated, or you’re on your third email regarding the same subject; step away from the keyboard. Make no mistake – face to face communication remains one of the primary roads to career success.
- Be confident. If you want others to tune you out, then speak hesitantly and pepper your speech with a lot of “Uhms”. Do your homework. Make sure that you’re up to speed before the conversation. Don’t bog down the conversation because you’re the weak link.
- Be specific. Cut to the chase. Respect people’s time and choose simple, straightforward words.
- Listen without thinking about what you will say next. Take time before you respond. Don’t be invested in being right.
- During a pause reiterate what the other person said. This will demonstrate that you’ve been listening.
- Ask follow-up questions. This will deepen the conversation and invite the person to share more.
- Be polite, respectful and sincere.
- Read body language. Always ask: “Is now a good time?” That simple courtesy can make someone immediately more receptive to your message.
- Focus on being positive. Frame a “problem” as a “challenge”, and you’re much more likely to get others to tune in to what you have to say.
- Stop the blame game. Nothing will shut communications down faster than taking an accusatory tone. Instead of saying: “You’re wrong”, try “I disagree”.
- Get comfortable with grey. Understand and acknowledge that most things are not just black or white.
In every aspect of life (both professional and personal) communication is crucial to happiness and success. “The way we communicate ultimately determines the quality of our lives” – Tony Robbins.
Source: www. Inc.com, www.learnfast.co.za, accountemps.rhi.mediaroom.com, time.com, pointblankidealist.wordpress.com, ceowarrior.com, quickbase.intuit.com, www.forbes.com, www.helpguide.org, lifehacker.com, www.inc.com, axerosolutions.com, gmb.io, www.lifehack.org, psychcentral.com, www.impactfactory.com
