Quick poll: Have you ever walked into a room full of strangers and felt uncomfortable? Or, maybe you’ve lurked in the ladies’ room rather than (scary music here!) talk to people you don’t know? We’ve all been there, it can be intimidating.
True, sparkling repartee doesn’t come easily to all of us. Naturally, you always want to make a good first impression, but you’re afraid of those momentary “oops” statements that you can’t take back. Sound familiar? Too often, the fear of saying something stupid, or looking like an idiot, is uncomfortably real and prevents us from trying altogether. Instead we watch life from the side lines.
We are brought up with the basics of right and wrong, good and bad, and ethically how to behave in the world. Very few of us are taught how to live a holistic, fulfilling life outside of making money and just getting by. However, a wealthy life is not defined by how much money you have in the bank. It’s defined by how rich your relationships are with your friends and loved ones. And, every relationship starts with you approaching someone whom you’ve never met before, or the other way around.
Make no mistake: in today’s world, knowing how to talk to people is one of the most important virtues you can possess. If you don’t know how to talk to people it’s hard to build a social life, grab the interest of the opposite sex, or get ahead in your career.
So, how do you go from awkward to awesome? We have a few tips:
Smile: Its efficacy in thawing even the sourest of attitudes is widely known.
Say something nice. Seriously! Here are a few one-liners: Neat shirt! Great smile! Cool boots! That’s it. First of all, you can’t be shut down and secondly, the people on the receiving end of this drive-by compliment will be caught off guard in a pleasant way. You’ll be the stranger who went out of his way to make someone else’s day brighter! How awesome is that?
Add the question mark. Neat shirt! Where’s it from? Or, Great smile? You having a good day? Or, Cool boots! Are they new?
Listen out loud. Eye contact and nodding are not enough to communicate enthusiasm. Use verbal cues (“Uh-huh”, or “Oh, you’re kidding!”) to let the person know you’re paying attention.
Open up about yourself… within limits. “My husband walked out on me last week” is probably a little too much information. Ditto for “No drinks for me. I’m on antibiotics for a yeast infection.” Keep it upbeat and focus on subjects that will keep the chatter going. Health (yours or theirs), money, religion and politics are all bad bets.
Show appreciation. “I’m so glad to have heard about your trip, you’ve inspired me to plan my next vacation!”
Show that you love life. Be the person with whom people would want to connect. It’s true, when you love life it loves you right back. It may sound corny, but think about all the cool things in your life and all the great people that are already a part of it. Try to connect with people who “get you.”
We all have a centred place of wisdom and balance within us and we all veer away from it in stressful situations. But, remember, like everything else we do in life, good social skills can be learned, developed, honed and improved.
Keep practising!
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, webcache.googleusercontent.com, www.askmen.com, www.nerdfitness.com, www.redbookmag.com, www.peopleskillsdecoded.com, www.stevepavlina.com, tinybuddha.com, www.lifehack.org, whatever.scalzi.com, collegetopia.co, www.redlemonclub.com, www.womanshealthmag.com
