With a few exceptions human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems better shared. And then there are toxic relationships …
A relationship doesn’t have to be romantic to fall into the “toxic” category – many friendships, mother-daughter, boss-employee relationships also qualify. Fact is we’ve all been in the company of people who were not rooting for our best selves.
But, off course it’s complicated. When is it time to call it quits on a relationship? Bearing in mind that there may be a lot of baggage; kids, pets, furniture … and who will keep the circle of friends?!
All relationships take hard work and go through rocky patches and when you’ve invested so much time and energy into a relationship, you want it to work out, regardless of how bad things have become, right?
Truth is we often stay in a toxic relationship because we believe, on some level, that our feelings of love justify everything. Yep, we rationalise it; if the relationship was wrong, wouldn’t we stop having feelings? Wouldn’t we stop hurting every time we are ignored or insulted? Off course the answer is: NO, but this often means it can be hard to recognise when a relationship is failing and when you should let go.
Are you constantly trying to “fix” everything to prove your self-worth, always being put down to the extent that you never feel good enough? Are you’re always walking on egg shells, having to think twice before you speak because certain topics are off limits? Does your emotional support lie elsewhere? You have turned to others to vent and your needs are constantly not being met; words of encouragement and support that were once commonplace are now largely absent. Do you experience any physical or verbal abuse? Or, does boredom reign and neither you nor your partner is interested in making changes?
Breakups aren’t easy, not for the person ending it or for the partner on the receiving end. But, if your relationship causes you more stress than joy; when every comment turns into a fight … seriously, what’s the point?
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. If a person continues to disregard your feelings, and treats you in a harmful way, they need to go” – Danielle Koepke.
So, be brave enough and have the courage to let go of those who keep weighing you down. Do what you have to in order to find happiness. It’s always, always worth it.
When you do decide to end it, allow yourself to grieve. Be sure to mobilise your support system; surround yourself with friends and family that love and respect you. Be productive and do fulfilling things. Invest in yourself; set goals and accomplish them one by one. Let go of anger and resentment and stop analysing everything that you did wrong.
Remember, you don’t need to prove to anyone how awesome you are; you just need to see it for yourself.
Source: www.yourtango.com, www.healthscopemag.com, www.anewmode.com, www.sheknows.com, www.lifeway.com, www.ellecanada.com, www.bustle.com, www.netdoctor.co.uk, www.charlesglassmanmd.com, www.nicknotas.com, theprofileclub.net, elitedaily.com, tinybuddha.com, www.dailymail.co.uk, psychcentral.com, www.goodreads.com, betweenstreamstheblog.blogspot.co.za
