What happens if you completely flip stereotypes on their heads and instead of the bacon-earning, suit-wearing husband you have the bacon-cooking, child rearing stay-at-home dad?
Look, no matter how loosey-goosey and boundary-smashing the world may seem, age-old stereotypes die hard. Well, even so, it seems as if the new “domestic engineer” is rewriting the books on what it means to be a committed partner in a marriage.
Although 87% of boardrooms in South Africa are still dominated by men, stats released by Employ Men show that there are about 60 000 stay-at-home dads in South Africa, with the numbers still growing.
A simple sign of modern times? Although this is a relatively new concept in South Africa, its popularity is growing. Why?
The economic state of our country has prompted the shift from dads being the breadwinners to either both parents needing to work, or the person who earns the most money going to work.
Some couples feel that two full-time careers leave little time for parenting. Also, of course, balancing the cost of childcare versus earning two salaries is a contributing factor. Many parents prefer their kids looked after by one of them, rather than a day-care or caregiver, and therefore opt for Dad, who earns the least money, to stay at home. It just makes economic sense. Simple as that.
The reasons why any parent might stay at home are complex and often very personal. So, whatever the reason may be for Dad to be the primary caregiver, this is not a decision to be taken lightly. After all, the happiness of both Dad and kids are at stake. Going from the rat race to domestic chaos is one of the biggest career moves a dad will ever make!
It takes a very evolved man to be completely okay with being at home and for it not to affect his manhood. The transition from full-time employee to full-time dad can be a daunting one.
So, if you decide to take the plunge, we have a few top tips geared for stay-at-home dads:
- Be proud of your decision. Expect to deal with stereotypes, many of which will be negative. The key is to be content and confident in your new role.
- Communicate with your partner on responsibilities. Setting up clear expectations up front will reduce conflict later.
- Establish a routine as quick as possible. It’s important for the kids to know what to expect and for you to confidently plan your day.
- Find time for yourself. Enjoy a good book while the kids nap and take advantage of the gym’s free babysitting service. If you take care of your needs, you’ll be better equipped to take care of theirs.
- Ask for help. Stay-at-home parents can’t do it all by themselves; whether it’s with carpooling or just a break from the kids, don’t be afraid to ask.
- Connect with other dads. Socialise, network and share your tips and frustrations with other dads.
- Consider the future. This career path may not be forever, so continue networking within your field, stay sharp and on top of it.
Family structures have evolved. If it works for your family, why not? It just makes sense to play on the strengths of your family for the benefit of your children, don’t you think?
Source: time.com, www.babble.com, www.parents.com, www.thespruce.com, www.huffingtonpost.com, www.thesouthafrican.com, www.iol.co.za, www.parent24.com, www.enca.com, www.blazonmagazine.co.za, www.healthywoman.org, www.huggies.co.za
