You know how it is … it happens in a flash. The wet towel on the floor – for the fourth time this week – and the dance is on!
Are you constantly fighting over small things, flipping out over misunderstandings, or simply can’t get on the same page about anything? According to recent studies feeling both love and hate in a relationship is totally normal … And you thought it was just you! Fact is the same area of your brain that activates mushy feelings is also responsible for producing red-hot-rage, which explains why even happy couples are destined to fight from time to time.
Some degree of conflict can even be healthy, as it means that both parties are expressing themselves, rather than keeping everything inside and letting emotions foster. BUT, establishing a routine where fighting becomes the norm is unhealthy. True, love can be a tough cookie; no two people think the same, no matter how much you have in common. Each person enters a relationship with certain expectations and when those expectations aren’t met, arguments occur.
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf” – Jon Kabat-Zin. Ultimately, conflict is inevitable; it’s how you deal with it that counts.
So, if your relationship is really not a bed of roses right now, we have a few tips on how to keep the peace:
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let go of the battles that are not so important. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to bow to someone else’s demands when it’s something you feel strongly about.
- Get to the real issue. It’s never about the wet towels. There’s usually a belief that you’re not valued, or maybe has no time to do something you love. – That’s what you need to talk about.
- Keep your cool. Take a few deep breaths; try to keep everything in perspective.
- Avoid being accusatory, be willing to compromise.
- Always keep tabs on feelings. Never make personal attacks. Talk about the behaviour that upsets you, not about what’s “wrong” with that person.
- Accept each other’s flaws. Nobody’s perfect.
- Own up to your part of the fight. Apologize if need be, your partner will respect you for it.
- Don’t bring up the past.
- Forget about being right, try being happy instead.
- Don’t forget to say “I love you.” We need to hear those magical words.
- Believe in the power of sex. People not only need to feel loved; they need to feel desired.
- Seek counseling if necessary.
Always remember the basics. When there’s a lack of respect, or when you have no time for each other leaving you bored with the relationship, or have incompatible goals; it may be time to call it quits.
Remember, coexisting with another human being can be difficult even at the best of times; relationships are always a work in progress. Good luck!
Source: www.lifehack.org, www.webmd.com, www.sheknows.com, www.netdoctor.co.uk, mountvernontherapy.com, psychcentral.com, www.yourtango.com, www.oprah.com, madamenoire.com, www.relate.org.uk, love.allwomenstalk.com, www.professional-counselling.com, www.goodhousekeeping.com, familyshare.com, www.womenshealth.com, tinybuddha.com, shymagazine.com, psychologia.co, www.mindbodygreen.com
