What is sleep divorce? It’s an arrangement whereby couples decide that they need individual sleeping arrangements. (Think: separate beds, or entirely different rooms). The stats? Over 30% of people say they’re ready to file for a sleep divorce. Sleep divorces are, it seems, all the rage. On TikTok, #sleepdivorce has over a million views. It’s kind of prudish, but it’s all in the name of healthy sleep. Cameron Diaz is a fan, and so is Gwyneth Paltrow. The Beckhams are apparently taking it one step further and are sleeping in “separate wings”.
However, is it possible for couples to sleep apart and not fall apart? Of course, the subject has divided opinions. Societal norms tell us that different bedrooms could mean the end of the relationship. After all, isn’t it all about spooning and brushing your feet against each other before drifting off? There are many benefits to sharing a bed with your partner. It provides a sense of safety and belonging, not to mention feeding off his/her body heat during winter! Sleeping apart could very well decrease your chances of intimacy and hurt your sex life. Also, you might get lonely as it could feed insecurities and foster resentment.
There are certainly couples who make sleeping together look easy and good on them. But for many of us, sharing a bed with the person we love equals interrupted sleep every night. Here’s the thing, sleep is vital to our wellbeing and is the cornerstone of good health. While we might be able to cope with little or no sleep for a couple of days, it’s not sustainable, especially if you’re hoping to avoid a bug or live a long life.
Physically inadequate sleep is linked to a higher risk of conditions such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. It compromises the immune system, making you more susceptible to illness. Mentally a lack of sleep impairs cognitive functions like memory and problem solving, affecting productivity and decision making. Emotionally, sleep deprivation contributes to higher irritability, mood swings, and an increased vulnerability to stress.
Poor sleep can also impact your relationship tremendously. Couples become irritable, less able to read emotions, more impulsive, and prone to depression if they don’t get quality sleep.
So, if you’re constantly clocking in fewer hours of good sleep, a sleep divorce might be worth considering. However, be gentle with your approach. It’s common for one partner to be upset when the other wants to sleep in a separate space. It should be made clear that your desire to sleep apart has nothing to do with your feelings for your partner. Also, nothing needs to be permanent. Consider sleeping separately, say, the night before a big meeting.
Sleeping apart is not for everyone and is a very personal choice. Either way, you’ll need to schedule sex or prioritize a little spontaneity during the day, but hey, you’ll have the energy, right?!
Source: glamour.com, sleepingapartnotfallingapart.com, womenandhomemagazine.co.za, womenshealthmag.com, inews.co.uk, health.clevelandclinic.org, glamourmagazine.co.uk
