Kids – they bring out the best in us. We are better people because of them; more forgiving, selfless, caring. They truly are a blessing!
And then, there are days – in the life of every parent – when someone carves a pattern into the leather sofa, or when hearing “no” again and again from your little naysayer; push your buttons a little too far! Never thought you had a temper before you had kids, right?!
Those are the days that drive us to do something we know we shouldn’t, but can’t resist. No, we’re not talking about overdosing on chocolate-fudge ice cream; We’re talking about yelling at our kids.
Are you feeling guilty about the sometimes harsh words or the not-so-sweet tone of your voice you use regularly? We all want our kids to have memories crammed full of family as a safe place and not an unpredictable hot spot.
It’s not easy to be the “bad cop” parent; and doing so without losing your cool, can be a challenge. Important though, no matter where you are on your parenting journey, the way you discipline your child could have a positive or a negative impact on his life.
Here are some tips to manage the rough moments:
- Take five. Walk away, literally. Breathe, and return when you feel calm.
- Avoid threats. Threats made while you’re angry will always be unreasonable. Threats are only effective if you follow through.
- Be aware of your tone of voice. Yelling will only make a child more rebellious and irritated.
- Know your limits. It’s often “the other stuff” you have going on that makes you lose your cool – deadlines; running errands … Avoid additional triggers.
- Pick your battles. Don’t try to micromanage your kids by saying “no” to everything. Decide which rules are important and stick to them, let the rest go. This will decrease frustration and prevent minor arguments from becoming battles. Let little infractions go by as teachable moments rather than discipline.
- Be open to YES. Try not to say “no” too often because of inconvenience. Conscious yesses are beautiful, they can transform families, and they are cause for celebration!
- Apologise when you are in the wrong. Teach your child the importance of an apology. Modelling this type of humility shows a child that we are all human and that even parents make mistakes.
- Move on. Don’t carry the baggage of yesterday’s explosion or last week’s near meltdown into tomorrow. Start each day, aiming to try your best, forgiving yourself when you weren’t great.
- Avoid physical force no matter what. Study after study has proven that spanking and all other physical punishment has a negative impact on a child’s development that lasts throughout life.
- Be a role model. Teach them how to handle anger and frustration.
- Be good to yourself. Parents that take good care of themselves can take better care of their families. Make sure that you eat right, get enough sleep and exercise regularly. Do something you love every day.
- Seek help. If you find that you are regularly losing control of your anger and it feels like nothing is helping, you may benefit from seeking professional support.
Peaceful parents = happy kids. Every child is a gift. Savour the little moments and be grateful for the time you have with them, it passes way too quickly.
Source: www.familylife.com, www.empoweringparents.com, www.positiveparntingsolutions.com, www.ahaparenting.com, www.supernanny.co.uk, www.whattoexpect.com, www.tumblehouse.in, www.popsugar.com, www.abundantmama.com, www.huffingtonpost.com
